What is present when life is most alive for you?

"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” - Eckhart Tolle

The elephant in the family room is never invisible — it’s just that no one dares to name it. But what if I told you naming it could save your family business?

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What would you do if you had no fear?

"Mastering others is strength. Mastering oneself makes you fearless.” - Lao Tzu

What cultivates harmony in your family business?

“A family in harmony will prosper in everything” - Confucius

What is possible?

“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible.” - Arthur C. Clarke

What does leadership mean to you?

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” - John Q. Adams

What actions can unite our strength?

"Great things in business are never done by one person; they're done by a team of people." – Steve Jobs

Coaching with Perspective

Your perspective shapes your result.

‍Change the way you see a challenge and you change the way you rise above it. We all move through life using mental maps made up of stories, beliefs, and assumptions that guide our choices. These maps help us make sense of things, but they are never perfect. They leave out possibilities. They can keep us stuck.
‍
Coaching with perspective is about redrawing those maps.

It is not about changing your circumstances, but about finding new ways to see them. That shift can reveal paths you did not know existed. It helps you see challenges from angles you have not considered, discover options hidden in plain sight, and break free from self-imposed limits so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

When your perspective shifts, the way you live and lead shifts too.

The Elephant in the Family Room

Packed with actionable insights, The Elephant in the Family Room equips enterprise families with the tools to confront silent threats—unspoken resentments, deep-seated insecurities, lingering fears, and misaligned values—that can quietly erode trust and unity. From power struggles to fractured relationships, this book offers a clear path to bridging generational divides and aligning family and business interests.

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“It’s a must-read, particularly because of the focus on emotions which is the most important part and which most family business books do not tackle.”

Maria Elena Lagomasino

CEO and Managing Partner, WE Family Offices

“From constructive ways to manage more challenging emotions like fear or envy to recognizing the interference of cognitive bias, Sonneveld offers an array of hands-on strategies to cultivate a strong emotional core in any family business. [An] astute debut . . . Creative, impactful strategies for coaching and managing family businesses.”

Publishers Weekly Booklife Reviews

“This book is fantastic and among the best written on the complex issues of family-owned businesses. The tone reflects René’s vast experience and his concerned and generous personality. Brilliant!”

James Stewart

Founding Partner of Corvalier Trust Company

“Dealing with business-owning families means mastering human behaviors and sensitivities diligently and managing the interface between family and business governance while honoring the legacy and values that are the backbone of any enterprise. René Sonneveld masterfully guides the reader through the many behavioral aspects that, if left unchecked, can derail any successful business and jeopardize the very foundation of a family’s overall well-being. It's a practitioner’s guide and a must-read for all families facing intergenerational transitions.”

Dr. Kurt Moosmann

Executive Vice-Chairman of Elsa Peretti Holding Ltd. and President of the Swiss Single Family Office Association

“Refreshingly honest . . . Sonneveld’s strength is making abstract emotional challenges feel tangible . . . offer[ing] tools, not just theory. A standout . . . This book is essential if you’re in a family business, work with one, or are trying to avoid becoming your family’s next cautionary tale.”

Manhattan Book Review

“Essential advice from a deeply experienced practitioner who provides real-world observations and guidance.”

Alan F. Heath

Chairman and CEO of Wind River Trust Company

“In family enterprises, what remains unsaid often shapes what endures. Having spent decades inside the emotional architecture of business families, I found that this book gives voice to rare truths that shape legacy, trust, and leadership across generations. René Sonneveld offers us the courage to look inward and the tools to navigate what truly matters.”

Shweta Handa-Gupta

Board Chair of ICF Global and Chief innovator at QuadraBrain® Transformation Solutions

“The Elephant in the Family Room is a profound and necessary book—one that speaks to the emotional realities behind the strategy, governance, and legacy of family businesses. René Sonneveld brings clarity, empathy, and rare insight to the challenges that so many families face, yet so few dare to name. His work is both a compass and a mirror, guiding families not just to survive, but to grow with honesty, purpose, and connection. Every family business leader—and advisor—should read this book.”

Ruben Azar

Executive Chairman of Grupo RAS

“The Elephant in the Family Room is a transformative guide for business families facing challenges that go far beyond spreadsheets and balance sheets. René Sonneveld, a former banker who left a high-profile career to follow a deeper calling, shares the wisdom gained from years of helping families around the world navigate the emotional complexities that threaten both legacy and love.
With honesty and empathy, Sonneveld brings to light the unspoken forces—fear, insecurity, envy, pride, mistrust—that silently undermine even the most successful family enterprises. Through real-life case studies, practical tools, and reflective questions, he helps families identify and confront “the elephant in the room” with emotional intelligence, courage, and shared purpose.
More than a governance manual, this book is an invitation to look inward. Written from the heart, by someone who has walked alongside families in moments of truth and transformation, The Elephant in the Family Room offers a compassionate roadmap for those who want not just to preserve a business, but to nurture the family that built it.”

Michel Cohen

Co-CEO Lolita Fashion Group

“In The Elephant in the Family Room, René Sonneveld shares his decades of experience working with global wealth and business-owning families, bringing to light the personal and relational dynamics that are too often overlooked. With insight, compassion, and practical tools, he addresses the ‘soft’ issues—identity, trust, legacy, and conflict—that can quietly undermine even the strongest enterprises. This book is a must-read for families and their advisors who want to foster clarity, connection, and resilience across generations, both in business and in life.”

Philip Marcovici

Author of The Destructive Power of Family Wealth and The Transformative Power of Family Wealth

“An eye-opener to what’s often overlooked, this book is essential reading for anyone involved in a family business—owners, successors, and stakeholders alike.”

Breno Koogan Lorch

Shareholder – Grupo GEN SA – Brazil

“A psychologically perceptive guide for family-owned businesses, The Elephant in the Family Room is about keeping the peace while attaining continuing organizational success.”

Foreword Clarion Reviews

“René Sonneveld does a masterful job at painting the complex and turbulent picture of how emotions permeate and impact every aspect of family enterprises and underlie the unique challenges – and opportunities – family members face as they work together, and offers families a time-tested roadmap and a set of practical tools for achieving long-term success, fulfilment, and harmony.”

Peter Moustakersk

CEO Fox Family Office Exchange

“Replete with psychological insights, business savvy, and unusual examinations of how relationships drive or divide businesses, The Elephant in the Family Room is very highly recommended not just for library inclusion, but for executives and business club members who will find its many insights and suggestions invaluable.”

Midwest Book Review

“René Sonneveld’s The Elephant in the Family Room delivers emotionally intelligent and practical guidance for business families facing challenges that spreadsheets and legal structures can’t solve. Drawing on decades of global coaching experience, Sonneveld explores how resentment, fear, ego, and unconscious patterns silently shape decisions and perpetuate conflict. Blending neuroscience, psychology, and family systems theory, he reframes emotional tension as a source of insight and transformation. This book is both mirror and manual—equipping families and their advisors with the tools to align emotional awareness with governance, ensuring continuity, resilience, and legacy across generations.”

Joseph Kellogg

Head of Wealth Planning, WE Family Offices

“With an elegant intertwining of both strategic complexity and emotional dynamics common in family business, Sonneveld captures the essence of family enterprises. The stories in each chapter elucidate the best practices he has honed from decades of personal experience as an advisor, leadership coach, and even a member of both his own and his wife’s family business, and he offers suggestions and reflection questions to deepen the reader’s learning. What really stands out is his acute sensitivity to cultural tensions, a lens he can uniquely bring as a true citizen of the world.”

Cathy Carroll

Author of Hug of War: How to Lead a Family Business with both Love and Logic

“A fascinating and informative book for those who have family businesses, those who advise family businesses, and frankly, anyone who navigates the complex emotional space of their own family decision-making. René artfully shares family stories of struggles and successes from around the globe while injecting wisdom and guideposts for how to navigate the thorniest of family issues. We all can gain insight into the deeper motivations that drive how we relate and work with each other so that we can build healthier, stronger bonds personally and professionally.”

Sandra L. Stewart

President of SLS Coaching & Consulting and Author of Building the Core Competencies of Change

“What most shines through in The Elephant in the Family Room is Sonneveld’s clear and dispassionate analysis of the case studies he presents with an enlightened compassion, born of a long and wide-ranging professional and personal journey. He sets out to help others navigate the often treacherous waters of attending to the transition of a family business to its younger members.”

Maxi Gainza

Writer and Business Owner

“The Elephant in the Family Room is a masterpiece that deeply and sensitively addresses the emotional complexities within family businesses, challenges they face, etc. Congratulations! As a lawyer, I have gone through some of the situations you describe and I identified clients I advised in the past. The case studies and practical tools you've included provide valuable guidance to anyone that require to surf this wave.”

Diego Baldomir

Partner Guyer & Regules Law Firm

“Sometimes the obvious is right in front of us, yet no one sees it. The Elephant in the Room highlights the importance of confronting our all-too-human instincts with honesty and openness in order to ensure the success of family businesses. What makes this book stand out is its balance between practical insight and deep emotional awareness… It’s for anyone navigating the subtle power plays, loyalties, and expectations that come with working in a family enterprise.”

Manuel van Engelen

Commercial Director Interfood BV

About René

Leadership shows up everywhere, in the boardroom, on the sports field, and around the family table. Executives, entrepreneurs, family-office heads, teachers, parents, and athletes all face moments where the path forward is not clear. René has led publicly quoted companies, guided family businesses, and interviewed leaders worldwide, learning that stepping into leadership is only the beginning. Staying there and evolving takes courage, skill, and constant growth.

An ICF Master Certified Coach, René brings global business experience, deep coaching expertise, and a gift for addressing the unspoken. He works with business leaders, exceptional individuals, family systems, cross-cultural teams, and athletes, with a special commitment to nurturing young talent and helping high performers meet their next challenge.

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What is coaching?

Coaching is where clarity meets action. It is a dedicated space to challenge old thinking, discover new possibilities, and align your life with what matters most. Together we uncover your values, strengths, and untapped potential, then turn that into bold, deliberate moves. Coaching is not just about solving problems. It is about unlocking the person, the team, or the vision you are ready to bring to life.

Leadership Coaching

Leadership coaching is for accomplished executives who are ready to elevate their impact in complex, high-stakes environments. It is for those who can lead with conviction, yet want to align more deeply with their organization, communicate strategy with clarity, strengthen executive presence, and influence stakeholders at every level from their teams to their board.

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Family Business Coaching

Family business coaching is for enterprising families ready to face what others leave unspoken. It is for those navigating the complex mix of succession, governance, and growth, while confronting the tensions, loyalties, and unspoken expectations that shape both relationships and results. This work balances the needs of individual family members with the long-term health and legacy of the business.

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Team Coaching

Team coaching is about creating highly effective teams. It is for groups that need to align quickly, communicate clearly, and build trust that holds up under pressure, whether in the boardroom or across continents. It turns individual talent into collective strength, enabling the team to achieve more together than would ever be possible alone.

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Mental performance coaching

Mental performance coaching is about building the mental edge needed to compete and win. It is for athletes and teams who want to strengthen focus, resilience, and confidence under pressure, and turn high-stakes moments into opportunities to excel. It equips you to manage stress, sharpen decision-making, and stay composed when it matters most.

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Testimonials

"René is both a superb listener and a great synthesizer of ideas. He's a coach who takes in all the fine details of a person's story, then picks out patterns and themes that give a valuable explanatory perspective that the client can't easily see for her/himself, and from there delivers insightful suggestions that lead the client to a more lucid self-understanding with positive action points - which is the true value-add of a great coach."

Anthony

Anthony Nahas, PARIS - France

René is a highly sensitive and empathetic person. Sharing with him is very nice because you sense a deep relationship and feel accompanied by him. With his breadth of knowledge and experience, he has always something of value to contribute. He has helped me to ask myself questions that I might not have asked if I had not had this space. As a result, I could develop tools that allowed me to be better prepared to face certain situations in the future. I can highly recommend working with him!

Alex

Alex Komaromi, Montevideo - Uruguay
World Series Poker Champion

"I know René as a man with empathy and a deep tangible interest in the people around him. You can see in his eyes that he senses your emotional state. I know that I can always approach him when I need someone to listen and help me find my way. As everyone, René has had his share of darkness and personal crisis to deal with. During these times, he has sustained himself admirably and continued to passionately care for those closest to him while he was not in a good place. For full disclosure, he has been a friend for many years, since business school in fact."

Markus

Markus Stadlmann, Vaduz - Liechtenstein

"René, thanks for asking questions leading to answers so close to my eyes. Sometimes, you need a guide to find the things you've been staring at for years".

Piotr

Piotr Robak, Warsow - POLAND

"René Sonneveld has saved me at least 6 months of erratic thinking aimed at shaping my academic career to fit it into the biopharmaceutical sector. He's uncovered values that I had never identified, and he has smartly pinpointed the right questions. Astonishing how René can dissect your needs and provide shortcuts towards accurate answers. No matter what market you are in, seek his coaching. He'll get your money's worth."”

Fernando

Fernando de Mora, Professor of Pharmacology
Universidad Autónoma de Barcelona

"After being a project manager for building hotels in Russia and managing a family-owned training institute in Vienna, I started to think about what to do next at the age of fifty-five. It seemed like a perfect time for hiring a coach to see what I wanted to do for the next ten years of my life. I had numerous ideas, and coaching with René helped me put them in the right perspective; to understand the interconnection of these ideas. I probably could not have figured this out by just pondering my brain. Therefore, I can highly recommend his coaching to take a step back and get an objective and refreshing view of things."

Peter

Peter Kutschera, Vienna - AUSTRIA

"Rene coaching sessions have been extremely thoughtful, motivational, and to say the least, life changing. His approach of patience combined with encouragements allowed me to tap into aspects of myself and especially to improve the organization of my days. Rene created a natural environment where I could express myself and explore my potential. With each session I could see tangible results and growth. "

Christophe

Christophe Beaud, CEO peoplefone Group
Zurich, Switzerland

"Rene has a wealth of experience in advising senior teams and company boards that transpire and becomes evident when he is coaching you. When he coaches, he combines a rational side, based on his long experience, with an acute observation of details, emotions and empathy of the person. This holistic combination of "head and guts" makes the coaching doubly effective, uncovering solutions that a simple approach would not have achieved. In summary, it is a very effective pleasure having him as a coach."

Salvador

Salvador Barrio, DHL Supply Chain, Madrid - Spain

Paradigm Shift
‍Every session that I had with Rene had a realization leading to a perspective change and a short term goal to achieve tangible results.

Impact
‍Rene is highly imaginative and has fantastic skills in picking the right detail in a dialogue, and is always positive. He loves coaching, and it is visible in every minute of my discussions with him. Within a few sessions, my emotional construct shifted from extreme stress to highly optimistic and forward-looking.

Connection
‍Rene forms connections at an emotional level. No matter how my emotional state was before a session, I always come out of it highly energetic and with a positive outlook.

Once you get to know him, you connect with him for life.

Aravind

Aravind Kona, Commodities Research, Hyderabad, India

‍“René is a highly qualified businessman, but also a very good coach. He combines his broad experience in different aspects of business and management with his advanced knowledge of coaching using “state of the art” approaches. Being coached by René has been a great experience for me and an invaluable help in different situations.”

Raul

Raul Echeberria, Executive Director at Asociación LatinoamericanA de Internet
Montevideo, Uruguay