Yesterday, on the last day of the year, I walked the stunning coastline between Manantiales and La Barra in Punta del Este. The South Atlantic Ocean breeze was as invigorating as the company—a friend who owns call centers across Latin America. As we navigated the shifting sands and watched the waves crash against the rocks, our conversation turned to the challenges he faces with his younger employees.

“They just give up,” he said, shaking his head. “One hurdle, and they’re done.” His frustration hung in the air, heavier than the salty breeze. It wasn’t about their professional skills or the job demands but something deeper: a struggle with resilience, self-confidence, and the ability to confront life’s inevitable ups and downs. He described a lack of consistency and tenacity, a reluctance to persist through challenges, and, most strikingly, a missing sense of "hunger"—the drive to push forward when the path gets rough.

We’ve created a culture that makes it harder for the next generation to weather life’s storms. Shielded from discomfort, they miss the crucial lessons that forge resilience. If we want to change this, we must rethink how we prepare them for life and intentionally create opportunities for them to face challenges, learn, and grow.

As we climbed over a particularly rocky section, my friend muttered something about why the beach couldn’t be “paved.” It made me laugh, but then I thought—don’t we all secretly wish life’s path were smoother? The irony is, of course, that we grow stronger from navigating the rocks. This realization became the focus of our conversation: What forces in today’s world—whether societal or personal—are preventing the next generation from gaining this strength?

The Social Media Theory

Our first instinct was to blame social media. It’s easy to see why: the glossy, picture-perfect lives on Instagram, the fleeting rewards of TikTok, the endless comparisons, and the dopamine-fueled cycle of likes and shares. Social media connects us, yes, but it also fosters a culture of instant gratification and superficial validation.

But as we walked further, the conversation deepened. Social media, we realized, might amplify certain behaviors, but it doesn’t create them. The roots of this struggle lie deeper—in how we raise and educate our children. While social media may offer a convenient scapegoat, the real issue begins at home.

Rethinking Upbringing and Education

Parenting today often veers toward overprotection and overindulgence. We smooth every path, shield our children from discomfort, and, in doing so, rob them of opportunities to build resilience. Frustration, failure, and challenges—while unpleasant—are the crucibles where grit and self-confidence are forged.

As my friend put it: “They’ve never had to fight for something.”

This fight isn’t just about ambition; it’s about the ability to endure setbacks and grow stronger. Resilience, like a muscle, is built through strain and repetition. Without the discomfort of struggle, it atrophies.

In the workplace, the consequences of this overprotection are clear. Young people often struggle to take ownership of challenges, paralyzed by criticism or failure. Their confidence isn’t grounded in effort or persistence but in a fragile sense of self shaped by empty praise or participation trophies.

As we walked, I thought of a sapling shielded from every gust of wind. It grows tall, but its trunk is brittle. Without the sway of the breeze, it never learns to bend or stand strong against storms. Our well-meaning efforts to shield our children often produce the same unintended result.

Tough Love: The Gift of Struggle

Tough love isn’t about being unkind; it’s about believing in someone’s ability to rise to a challenge. It’s the decision to let discomfort do its work, knowing that the lessons learned through struggle are more valuable than any comfort we can provide.

True growth only comes from discomfort. Shielding others might feel loving, but it denies them the strength they can only earn by navigating challenges on their own.

In family businesses, I’ve seen how tough love can change the trajectory of a young leader. One father, instead of handing his daughter a senior role, insisted she start at the bottom, working in sales before taking on more responsibility. She bristled at the idea, but over time, she developed the tenacity, confidence, and respect of her peers that she needed to succeed. Her father’s decision wasn’t easy—he admitted it was hard to watch her struggle—but it was the greatest gift he could give her.

Practicing tough love means allowing others to encounter challenges while offering encouragement and space to grow. Avoid stepping in too quickly; instead, guide them to find their own solutions. Failure is not an endpoint—it’s a necessary experience that builds strength and confidence.

Tough love isn’t just a parenting philosophy; it’s a mindset. It’s about creating space for others to fail safely, to struggle, and to emerge stronger. So, the next time you’re tempted to smooth the way, ask yourself: What might they learn by navigating this challenge themselves? What strength might they gain from struggle?

The Role of Society at Large

It’s not just parenting or schools. As a society, we’ve prioritized comfort over growth. From helicopter parenting to the instant rewards of technology, we’ve collectively lowered the threshold for discomfort. Yet discomfort is precisely what builds character.

Resilience isn’t innate; it’s learned. It comes from experiences that test us, from the repeated process of failing, adjusting, and trying again. Self-confidence, too, isn’t granted but earned—through effort, persistence, and the satisfaction of overcoming challenges.

This is why qualities like hunger, tenacity, and grit feel increasingly rare. They aren’t taught in a classroom or handed out in a workshop. They’re cultivated in the small moments—when we let our children struggle a little longer before stepping in, when we encourage persistence over perfection when we value the process over the outcome.

To shift this trend, society needs to embrace struggle as a necessary ingredient for growth. Schools, workplaces, and communities can play a role by designing experiences that challenge individuals and help them build resilience. By normalizing discomfort as part of life, we can create a cultural shift that strengthens the next generation.

A Personal Reflection

‍As the waves crashed against the shore, I thought about how the ocean shapes the coastline—not with gentle caresses but with relentless pressure. Each wave wears down the rock, smooths the edges, and leaves behind something stronger and more defined. Like the sapling that bends in the wind, the coastline doesn’t grow stronger by avoiding the waves. It is shaped by them, just as we are shaped by the challenges we endure.

As a father of five, this isn’t just a professional observation; it’s a daily challenge. Each time I step back and let my children face discomfort, I remind myself: My love isn’t in protecting them from struggle—it’s in giving them the strength to face it. The greatest gift I can give them isn’t a smooth path but the tools to navigate the rough ones—to fall, to get back up, and to try again.

If we want to raise a generation that thrives, not just survives, we must embrace discomfort—not as a punishment but as a necessary ingredient for growth. The hardest lessons, the moments we want to shield others from, are often the most valuable. True resilience is earned in those moments where struggle meets persistence and effort meets failure.