"When you feel excluded, you feel your purpose has been taken away. To not be looked in the eye, not spoken to directly, wondering if it is personal, feeling lost, or confused. You feel that you have no control. When you are alone with your thoughts, especially at night, it all comes back as you get ready for the next day when it will all happen again." – Owen Eastwood(1)
Introduction
The significance of belonging is frequently underestimated, despite being essential for achieving peak human performance. As social creatures, we crave the feeling of being accepted and included by those around us. When our need for inclusion within a team or cohort is fulfilled, our energy and focus are channeled toward the shared mission. This enables us to engage effectively in our roles and the tasks assigned to us. Being part of a group grounds us, and we treasure the rituals and traditions that bind us together. Acknowledging and addressing this fundamental human need presents a valuable opportunity for any organization or team to foster connection and cultivate a high-performing work environment.
The powerful force of belonging connects us to many related experiences, such as mattering, identification, and social connection. These experiences collectively contribute to our emotional well-being, mental health, and overall life satisfaction(2).
Whenever I engage with family systems, business, and sports teams or introduce new university cohorts, I place significant importance on fostering a sense of group belonging and establishing a "safe" environment for all members. This article will explore the intricate connections between belonging and these related experiences and how they contribute to a more fulfilling life.
The Importance of Belonging
Belonging is fundamental to our psychological and emotional well-being. It plays a vital role in shaping our self-esteem, happiness, and mental health. When we feel a sense of belonging, we are more likely to engage in positive behaviors, establish meaningful relationships, and contribute to our communities. Conversely, a lack of belonging can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and even physical health issues.
Mattering: A Sense of Significance
Mattering, a term coined by sociologist Morris Rosenberg(2), refers to the feeling that our existence is significant and that others value us. When we feel that we matter, we are more likely to feel accepted and appreciated by those around us. This sense of mattering is closely tied to belonging. Mattering contributes to our self-esteem, self-worth, and overall mental health.
Mattering can be further divided into two components: awareness and importance. Awareness is the perception that others are aware of our existence, while importance refers to the belief that others value and care about us. Both of these components contribute to our sense of belonging, as they foster feelings of connectedness and inclusion.
Identification: Affiliating with a Group or Community
Identification is another experience closely related to belonging. As we identify with a specific group, we adopt their values, beliefs, and attitudes, and this affiliation helps to shape our self-concept and self-esteem.
The variety of groups and communities with which we can identify is vast, ranging from family units and friendships to workplaces, religious organizations, cultural associations, educational institutions, and even sports teams. Identification with a group can provide a sense of security, support, and validation, all essential components of belonging.
The act of identifying with a group can have profound effects on an individual's psychological well-being. We develop camaraderie and solidarity by connecting with others who share our interests, goals, or backgrounds. This connection helps us navigate life's challenges more effectively, as we can draw upon the group's collective wisdom, experiences, and resources.
Moreover, identification with a group can enhance our sense of purpose and motivation. When part of something larger than ourselves, we often feel inspired to contribute to the group's objectives and strive for personal growth. In this way, identification with a group can serve as a catalyst for self-improvement and achievement.
However, it is essential to recognize that identifying with a group or community does not mean losing individuality. Instead, it involves striking a balance between embracing the group's shared values and goals while preserving and celebrating our unique identities. By doing so, we can maintain our sense of self while benefiting from the support, security, and validation that come from belonging to a group.
Social Connection: Building Bridges Between Individuals
Social connection is the bond that exists between individuals, helping to create a sense of belonging and acceptance. It is the glue that holds relationships together and plays a critical role in shaping our mental and emotional well-being. Social connection can be fostered through various channels, including shared experiences, mutual interests, and empathetic understanding. Research has shown that strong social connections contribute to a higher level of happiness, better physical health, and even increased longevity. Moreover, social connection helps to buffer against stress, depression, and anxiety, making it a crucial aspect of mental health. You can read about this last aspect more about this in my blog "The Sum of all Happiness. (https://www.renesonneveld.com/post/the-sum-of-all-happiness)
Social connection represents the ties that bind individuals, instilling a sense of belonging and acceptance among them. This vital connection is the foundation of relationships and significantly influences our mental and emotional well-being. Social connection can be cultivated through diverse avenues, such as shared experiences, common interests, and empathetic understanding(3).
Numerous studies have demonstrated that robust social connections lead to greater happiness, improved physical health, and enhanced longevity. Additionally, social connections provide a protective barrier against stress, depression, and anxiety, underlining their importance in maintaining mental health. Through fostering social connections, we can create supportive networks that enrich our lives and promote overall well-being(4)(5).
The Interplay of Belonging, Mattering, Identification, and Social Connection
The experiences of belonging, mattering, identification, and social connection are intricately intertwined, each playing a crucial role in our overall well-being. When we experience a sense of belonging, we are more likely to feel that we matter to others and identify with a group or community. It strengthens our social connections, reinforcing our sense of belonging and acceptance.
Fostering Belonging and Related Experiences
To cultivate a sense of belonging and its related experiences, creating an environment that promotes inclusion, acceptance, and support is essential. This can be achieved through open communication, empathetic listening, and genuine interest in the lives of others. Additionally, engaging in shared experiences and continuing activities can help build connections and foster a sense of belonging.
In our personal lives, we can consciously reach out to others, especially those who may feel marginalized or excluded. By offering kindness, understanding, and encouragement, we can help others feel valued and included. It is also essential to recognize and appreciate the unique qualities that each individual brings to the table, as this contributes to a sense of mattering and validation.
In professional settings, organizations can work to create inclusive environments by embracing diversity, promoting collaboration, and providing opportunities for personal and professional growth. In team coaching, we encourage employees to express their opinions, collaborate in decision-making processes, and creatively engage in teamwork can help foster a sense of belonging and mattering within the workplace.
At the community level, initiatives to foster social cohesion and reduce social isolation can be critical in promoting belonging, mattering, identification, and social connection. These may include community programs, workshops, and events designed to unite people and provide opportunities for engagement and collaboration.
Conclusion
Belonging is a vital aspect of our human experience, intricately connected to mattering, identification, and social connection. It influences our sense of self-worth, social connection, and overall well-being. When we feel accepted and included by those around us, we experience a more profound sense of meaning and purpose. It allows us to feel seen, heard, and valued, positively impacting our mental health, emotional well-being, and life satisfaction.
As individuals, we are responsible for cultivating environments that promote belonging in our personal lives, workplaces, and communities. We must be willing to listen, learn, and empathize with others' experiences, acknowledging and addressing the barriers that prevent them from feeling like they belong. It requires us to be intentional about creating inclusive spaces where everyone feels accepted and valued for who they are.
Our society is responsible for fostering a culture of belonging that values diversity, equity, and inclusion. It needs us to be mindful of our individual and collective responsibility to create environments that value and uplift everyone's unique identities and experiences. When we do so, we can create a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued and where we can all thrive together.
Notes
- Owen Eastwood. (2019). Belonging
- Rosenberg, M., & McCullough, B. (1981). Mattering: Inferred significance and mental health among adolescents. Research in Community and Mental Health, 2, 163–182.
- Hogg, M. A., & Abrams, D. (1990). Social motivation, self-esteem, and social identity.
- House, J. S., Landis, K. R., & Umberson, D. (1988). Social relationships and health. Science, 241(4865), 540-545.
- Cohen, S. (2004). Social relationships and health. American Psychologist, 59(8), 676-684.
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