It’s often said that life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Every individual treads a unique path, marked by joys, sorrows, challenges, and triumphs. And every so often, amidst the myriad stories that punctuate our journey, a singular voice resonates with such clarity and power that it compels us to pause and reflect.

Such was the impact of the fantastic and brave young woman, Nightbirde, on the audience and millions watching from their screens during her memorable performance on America's Got Talent in 2021. She had cancer affecting multiple organs while singing an original song called “It’s OK.” When she finished her song, the judges and the audience were moved to tears. While asked for her strength to sing so beautifully and to project a presence of total bliss under these most strenuous circumstances, she answered: “You don’t have to wait until life is not hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

As humans, we're hardwired to seek comfort. We wish to create a world where predictability reigns, where challenges are at a minimum, and where happiness is a natural state. But the truth, as Nightbirde poignantly reminded us, is quite the opposite. Life can be incredibly tough, fraught with unexpected hurdles, and riddled with pain. Yet, in those very moments of despair and darkness, she showed that there exists an opportunity to light our inner lamp of joy and resilience.

Her words will stick to me forever. In this blog, I honor her words and give them a deeper meaning in the context of my passion for coaching.

From a coaching perspective, Nightbirde's message holds profound relevance. Coaching isn’t just about achieving goals or overcoming obstacles; at its heart, it's about transformation. It's about helping individuals realize they possess the power to define their emotional and mental state, regardless of the external world.

When Nightbirde sang, “It’s OK,” she wasn’t just communicating acceptance of her circumstances. She was declaring her autonomy over them. This distinction is crucial. In coaching, one of the primary objectives is to guide individuals to this realization — that while they might not control every event in life, they certainly can control their response to them.

Let’s explore the essence of Nightbirde’s words.

1. “You don’t have to wait…”

From a coaching perspective, this initial phrase emphasizes the power of choice and the proactive stance an individual can take. Waiting implies a passive role where one lets external circumstances dictate one's feelings and actions. In coaching, it is crucial to empower individuals to realize they have control over certain aspects of their lives.

2. “…until life is not hard anymore…”

Life's challenges are inevitable. Everyone faces hardships, setbacks, and moments of doubt. This phrase acknowledges the reality that difficulties exist and might still be around for a while. Coaching is often about helping individuals navigate these challenges, not by avoiding them, but by developing resilience, coping strategies, and a growth mindset to face them head-on.

You are worth fighting for!

3. “…before you decide…”

“The essence of decision”

The word “decide” in Nightbirde’s statement stands out. It signifies intentionality, an active choice, and underscores the notion that happiness is a choice to a significant extent. A coach's role is often to help clients recognize their agency over their emotions and responses to life's circumstances. Regardless of their circumstances, every individual has the agency to shape their narrative.  The role of a coach often pivots around amplifying this agency, nurturing it, and guiding individuals to wield it effectively. Instead of being at the mercy of external events, one can decide how to interpret and respond to them.

Embracing happiness amidst the storm

4. “…to be happy.”

“The power of embracing happiness amidst the storm”

Happiness, in this context, isn’t merely the absence of sadness or the presence of positive emotions. It encompasses contentment, gratitude, and a sense of purpose. Coaching might involve helping clients redefine what happiness means to them, focusing on intrinsic values rather than extrinsic validations. It’s about finding joy in the journey, appreciating small moments, and recognizing that while one may not have control over every event in life, they do have control over their perspective and attitude towards those events.

In summary, Nightbirde’s powerful performance and its profound message serve as a reminder that happiness is a journey, not a destination. It's a continuous process of seeking light, even when surrounded by darkness. They also postulate the heart of coaching: Empowerment. It reminds individuals that they hold the reins of their emotional state and can choose happiness, irrespective of external circumstances. Through coaching, individuals can unearth this strength, harness it, and make conscious decisions that align with their aspirations and values. Thank you, Nightbirde, for your unwavering spirit of hope.

Note
Jane Kristen Marczewski passed away on February 19, 2022. She was 31 years old
You can watch Nightbirde’s performance at AGT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0
A wonderful tribute highlighting Nightbirde’s global impact: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYcOuepQTvs

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